Friday, June 30, 2017

Nice guy bullshit

Do NOT get me started on the whole “Nice guys always lose” crap. (Too late. I already started.)

If you’re going out looking for a date and you look around and there’s a bunch of jerks taking all the girls home and you didn’t even get a phone number, it’s NOT because they are jerks. It’s NOT because nice guys lose. It’s NOT because women love bad guys. Stop making excuses.


DO NOT believe the lie that 'women love bad boys'... No woman says to herself "Oh my gosh, I wanna go date HIM because I just know he'll break my heart and make me feel ugly!" No. These guys get phone numbers because... drum roll please.............


BECAUSE THEY ARE LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS ATTENTION HOGS!




Yes. It’s that simple. They are bright and noisy and they draw attention. There are nice guys that do that, too. (You don't hear about them cause they don't have anything to complain about.) And yes, there are nice guys that get hurt, but there are jerks that get hurt, too. Don’t be stereotyping now. Your broken heart is not unique in any way, shape or form. This is NOT the time to play the martyr. Instead, we’re here to learn…

HOW TO SAY HELLO 101
Seriously. It's the prerequisite to starting a relationship. Honestly, the biggest challenge for anyone is just MEETING someone else. There’s plenty of people who you could have a great time being around, whether as a friend, lover, colleague, or playdate.




So why don’t we all have more playdates?
Because our Mommy isn’t here to introduce us to a new friend. It’s time to suck it up buttercup.


Just go say HELLO for frick’s sake. Seriously. It works. You wouldn’t believe how much it works. No horrible “did you fall from Heaven” lines and no “don’t I know you” lies. Just walk up to someone and say “Hi, I’m Mark. I saw you from across the room and just had to introduce myself.” Girls, it works that way for you, too. Just say “Hi, I’m Julie. Is this your first time here? I’ve never seen you here before.”

At this point, the lesson is over. I don’t know what you’re waiting for.



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Still here?

Ok, if that wasn’t enough, then here is my logic.

Guys, what most women are looking for is just someone to interact with… someone who will


PAY ATTENTION




They don’t want someone who will come over and stare at their boobs instead of their eyes all night. They don’t want to be eye-slobbered. (Yes, I said it. Eye-slobber. It’s what happens when a guy trails his eyes ALL over you, never once looking you in the eyes and he just keeps nodding his head acting like he’s listening when all he is doing is imagining you naked and trying to think of the next sexual innuendo to throw into the conversation.)



STOP STARING.



In all honesty, eye-slobber is flattering for about half a second. But it eventually gets annoying and doesn’t work NEARLY as well as paying attention. I could probably take a poll of single women and ask them whether they would give their phone number to a guy who interacted with them in a conversation and actually shared interest in the things they talked about. Wanna bet how high those poll results would be? (Don’t bet. It’s not a healthy habit.)

So do me a favor. Try it. Pretend it’s an experiment. Better yet, I'm going to give you homework!

HOMEWORK: say “Hello” to someone. Tell me what happens after that. I’d love to hear it.


...you can't stop staring at the booby-eyes can you?

Walk away. Just walk away.



Thursday, June 29, 2017

Dude, listen to me...

A.K.A.: The beginnings of RG University

“Dude, listen to me and do this otherwise you’re NEVER gonna get laid” 

...was the intro to the worst advice I’d ever heard. That's when I realized a lot of the mistakes guys were making came from being given advice about women by the wrong people. Namely, advice from other MEN. Don’t get me wrong! Some guys have great advice. But even so, I decided it was time to hold 'class' and give some lessons pointing out what guys do that gets them NO results. Or even worse, the WRONG results.

Good for you.

Additionally, I think there are times when us gals need some lessons as well. We need to retrain our brain to respond in less confusing ways so there is better communication across the genders. It’s no secret that men and women have different biology, chemicals, and socialized upbringing (even though gender really isn’t a teeter totter, but more of a slide rule). It's no secret that the words coming out of our mouths don't always match what's in our heads.
(Me on any given work day)
So why not help women learn to express themselves more clearly, while at the same time giving them the confidence to get what they do (or don’t) want more effectively? It’s time to throw out the social rule-book and do what’s right and fair!
Wait! I have a whole can full of rule books!!! Waiiiiittt!!! Take them!!!!

FYI: I’d love to give you advice on an entire range of social relationships… friendship, parent-child, LGBTQ relationships, student-teacher relationships. I mean, ‘relationships’ really aren’t about sex, but about the connection between two people, right? Unfortunately, I’m only one person and I have very little expertise on ANYTHING. So for the sake of this blog, I’m going to stick with trying to keep women around the world from getting groped, prodded, and slobbered over by men who just have NO clue that what they are doing is completely wrong or repulsive. And hopefully, some guy out there will read this and not get defensive and assume that it’s always about him. …and he’ll read it with a grain of salt and think twice before using that line his buddy told him back in the locker room in junior high.