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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Vulnerability: the building block of great sex

Prerequisite: Lesson 402 
Course Description: This is a follow up course to the content in Lesson 402. It's a writing intensive course designed to help you dive further into the advanced topics of sexual education and self-exploration. At the end of this course, you'll be able to discuss sex with another human without giggling like a little school-girl. Unless, of course, giggling like a little school-girl is what turns you or your partner on. 

Today, students, is video day! In this class we are going to feature a TED talk from another speaker. Feel free to consider this course a special topics course in upper division sexual awareness. Welcome to...


Let me say that word again. Vulnerability. Don't cringe. It's okay. I know that a lot of us associate the word vulnerable as a negative thing. We assume that people who are vulnerable are easily hurt, damaged, and broken. It could very well be true, but if you are never able to become vulnerable, then you're going to miss out on the awesome things because you have built up a wall to keep anything new from happening. 

That's a no-no. TEAR DOWN that wall! Go watch this video we are featuring from Olive B. Persimmon before reading on... she allowed herself to be vulnerable, and wonderful things happened as a result.

Anything sound familiar to you? Yup. It's time to make a list. Did you do your homework for Lesson 402?  Good!!! (If you didn't, then you can get half credit if you turn it in late.)
Now it's time for some in-class assignments. Think about what Olive said, and decide if you are vulnerable enough to try something new. Just pick one thing for now. 

Nope. Sorry. JUST ONE thing for now.

 Okay, now think about that one thing. Are you willing to try it? Probably. Are you willing to ask for it? Yeah. That's the harder part. When's the right time to ask, how to ask for it, how to prepare to get shot down... it's tough. Communication is tough. Think about picking a time when you can talk in private with your partner about trying this new thing. Figure out how you want it to happen, and what boundaries you want to set (or not set). Also think about how you might respond if they aren't up for it. Is there a compromise you'd like to try? Can you be a good listener and see if maybe they have a counter-suggestion? But all of these things are completely useless to think about if you aren't vulnerable enough to go for it and talk about it. So...
 Sometimes you just gotta be brave and go for it. You may be surprised to see how well your partner reacts once you've opened up the communication-flood-gates. 

HOMEWORK: Go download one of Olive's "Yes-No-Maybe" lists from her site at https://www.olivepersimmon.com/let-s-get-sexy and get to checking off. Bonus points if you and your partner do the list and exchange them with each other! And even if you don't have a partner, what's the harm in having the list around just in case an opportunity comes up?