LESSON FOR THE DAY:
Sexual Health 303 - your body is going through changes...
Can we talk about the differences that happen to a person's body as they evolve and mature, without attaching a judgement to it for a minute? I feel like that needs to be talked about, and it's important to realize that any difficulties during sex shouldn't always be attributed to a person's mindset. We don't always have control over our bodily functions.
If you have ever taken a health class in middle/high school, you would have heard the word "puberty" often enough to make you want to full on gag. But no one talks to you about the changes that happen to a person's body after they become an adult. Where is THAT health class? It's not something that we are educated about as a right of passage to adulthood. But maybe we should be?
We hear women talk about "the change", but rarely hear exactly what changes go with it other than not having your period anymore. And does anyone even talk about what guys go through, other than seeing commercials on TV for penile dysfunction? (Yes, I said it out loud. Stop cringing.)
What's worse, is that our bodies often decide to do things that we can't control, no matter how much we try. Sure, sometimes our feelings/emotions DO affect how our bodies react...
But other times, our bodies don't cooperate, and our body language might be like speaking pig latin to your lover.
For example...
He gets soft = doesn't mean he isn't having fun
She isn't wet = doesn't mean she isn't having fun
He flips you over = doesn't mean he thinks you're ugly
She closes her eyes = doesn't mean she thinks you're ugly
He turns the light on = doesn't mean he's about to do something weird
She turns the light off = doesn't mean she doesn't want to look at you
He sneezes = doesn't mean he's allergic to you
She sneezes = just might make things more (or less) fun for him... think about it
I'm just saying, you can't assume the worst when you try to interpret body language. This is why
**COMMUNICATION**
is so important. How many times do I have to say that???But for today's lesson, I really want to talk about how our bodies can really not work the way we want them to, and how it's not always a mental thing. Sometimes there are reasons that women have trouble producing enough moisture and there are reasons why guys might have trouble getting ultra hard. It doesn't mean they aren't having fun!!! (But it's okay to ASK if they are enjoying it... never hurts to check. Truly.)
It's not like getting caught picking your nose... there are some things that happen to your body that you just can't help. Having babies changes a woman's body (if I hear one more joke about throwing hot dogs down a hallway, so help me God), but so does changing hormones and growing UP. Face it guys and gals... you aren't gonna have that 17 year old body forever. So adjust, and figure out ways to have fun with it! We are living in the age of accessories!!!
Ladies, If you have a consistent problem with moisture, do NOT think that using lube is a crutch. In fact, it can be pretty fun. Picking out just the right one can make for a super fun shopping spree.
Just remember that all those flavors and scents don't always make it better, but it never hurts to try. :-) And the slipperier you get, the nicer things feel for both/all parties involved. Lack of moisture can be caused by a multitude of reasons. I'm not going to list them here, because you're just going to google it yourself anyways. (It's ok - I get it. That's what we do.)
By the way, did you know?
But I digress...
Guys have just as many difficulties too, ladies. Try to remember that sometimes those penises (penii?) have a mind of their own!
Those poor little lambs have a hell of a time in middle school, especially when they have to give a presentation in the front of class and all of a sudden it decides that it wants to make a presentation of it's own. So have a heart... do your part. If it decides it doesn't want to play right then and there, remember that there are plenty of other body parts to give attention to. Guys like a nice back scratch or massage just as much as we do. We don't have to stop giving attention just because they aren't... AT attention. And guys, there's no shame in it, and no reason for YOU to quit either. Plenty of fun to be had without it, just sayin.
And as much as people make jokes about size, and whether it matters, there is definitely something to be said for how people fit together. But you don't have to be the Jolly Green Giant or have Kegel muscles strong enough to make applesauce in order to have sex that is satisfying with your partner. It just takes finding the right angle, lube, rhythm, position, timing or foreplay to make it happen, Cap'n. Oh, and did I mention COMMUNICATION?!??!?!?!
(Don't get the applesauce reference? Here ya go:)
JUST REMEMBER WHAT'S IMPORTANT:
Now go get em tiger...
Homework for today:
Research lubrication and compare websites and prices. Feel free to share any great deals in the comments below!!! :-)